{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Vicky Gooden","provider_url":"http:\/\/www.vickygooden.com","author_name":"vickygooden","author_url":"http:\/\/www.vickygooden.com\/index.php\/author\/vickygooden\/","title":"Looking forward... - Vicky Gooden","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"CyZ4RjXtCR\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.vickygooden.com\/index.php\/2017\/05\/08\/looking-forward\/\">Looking forward&#8230;<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"http:\/\/www.vickygooden.com\/index.php\/2017\/05\/08\/looking-forward\/embed\/#?secret=CyZ4RjXtCR\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Looking forward&#8230;&#8221; &#8212; Vicky Gooden\" data-secret=\"CyZ4RjXtCR\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=http:\/\/www.vickygooden.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.vickygooden.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/nodaythin.jpg?fit=2378%2C1167","thumbnail_width":2378,"thumbnail_height":1167,"description":"So it\u2019s almost two weeks since I started to lose my first ever pregnancy. Clinging on to the bathroom sink, rocking back and forth before the ambulance arrived, my body cruelly experiencing contractions. Right now I should be almost 8 weeks pregnant, willing on the 12 week scan to breathe a brief sigh of relief to have made it to that milestone. But. I\u2019m not pregnant. Vicky, you are not pregnant. It\u2019s gone. This is the reality. It\u2019s been hard to stomach, accept. But it\u2019s the truth. And if my foray into mindfulness over the past year has taught me anything, it\u2019s not to dwell on the past, and not to fear the future. Neither exist. Only the here and now. I\u2019m making it sound very easy. It\u2019s not easy in this particular situation. I haven&#8217;t just lost a set of keys. I\u2019ve lost a little growing bud. Rapidly dividing and developing cells that were to become our little baby in but the blink of an eye. How soon they develop little stumpy hands, a disproportionate little head at first. The miracle of life indeed. The pregnancy was the start of the new me. Mummy me. I\u2019ve longed to be [&hellip;]"}