1.0Vicky Goodenhttps://www.vickygooden.comvickygoodenhttps://www.vickygooden.com/index.php/author/vickygooden/rich600338<blockquote class="wp-embedded-content" data-secret="iYuasO1TbS"><a href="https://www.vickygooden.com/index.php/2019/08/14/your-baby-needs-open-heart-surgery/">‘Your baby needs open heart surgery…’</a></blockquote><iframe sandbox="allow-scripts" security="restricted" src="https://www.vickygooden.com/index.php/2019/08/14/your-baby-needs-open-heart-surgery/embed/#?secret=iYuasO1TbS" width="600" height="338" title="“‘Your baby needs open heart surgery…’” — Vicky Gooden" data-secret="iYuasO1TbS" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" class="wp-embedded-content"></iframe><script type="text/javascript"> /* <![CDATA[ */ /*! This file is auto-generated */ !function(d,l){"use strict";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&"undefined"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!/[^a-zA-Z0-9]/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret="'+t.secret+'"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret="'+t.secret+'"]'),c=new RegExp("^https?:$","i"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display="none";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute("style"),"height"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):"link"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute("src")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener("message",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll("iframe.wp-embedded-content"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute("data-secret"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+="#?secret="+t,e.setAttribute("data-secret",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:"ready",secret:t},"*")},!1)))}(window,document); //# sourceURL=https://www.vickygooden.com/wp-includes/js/wp-embed.min.js /* ]]> */ </script> http://www.vickygooden.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Screen-Shot-2019-08-14-at-22.17.52-1024x418.png1024418These were the words that we heard on June 5th this year. The words that took my legs and turned them to mush. The words that made my own heart break. The words that saw me lifting my face to the sky and begging, desperately pleading, for our little girl to be ok. Fear, guilt, sadness. Boiling over. Staring at nothing, motionless. Staring at everything, high alert, overwhelmed, jittery, frightened. Wanting someone, anyone to help me stand up. Make it my heart. Operate on me. Take whatever you need from me. Don’t touch her. Don’t lose her. The top baby was wearing the day we found out has been binned. I couldn’t look at it once we’d buttoned it back up after the diagnostic ultrasound in London. Horrifically dark thoughts seeped in and around the contours of my brain, clouding, dampening everything. I would bat them away as hard as I could but on some days I would be so paralysed with fear that I just let them be and let the heavy tears tumble. My baby girl is the most precious thing in the world to me. I know that’s so bloody obvious. But she is. Nothing compares, and […]