Quick blog this as I’m on the train to work.
It’s day 18 of my cycle and all the signs are there to say I’m ovulating.
Until a few months back I didn’t get this pesky Mittelschmerz bullshit, but boy, now I do.
I’ve been bloated for days now with an uncomfortable sort of mass feeling on the left side, front and back. If my (strained) memory serves me correct, this is my normal side for ovulation. I rarely get any right sided issues. If I massage my abdomen in circular motions (womb massage), the tenderness is remarkable.
Then this morning I’ve been doubled over and haven’t been able to walk completely upright. Even twisting to blow dry my hair was too much. It’s like something is about to burst, which hopefully is just my ovum to release an egg. But it feels massive.
I had to take my mum to the hospital this morning for some tests so that’s been a bit stressy and I always think stress exacerbates pain. I’m writing this on the train into work.
I get it, I look ok. I’m not limping, coughing and spluttering. In fact I’m scared to cough and splutter because of the pain. I’m not pale because of the Majorcan sun or vomiting or sweating. I’m not running a temperature or dashing for the loo. I can easily flash a smile.
But I’m worn out. And I’m fed up of being worn out. And I’m fed up of moaning about being fed up and worn out. This isn’t me. This moany old crow. It isn’t, promise.
Pain is utterly exhausting. Chronic pain even more so as it just doesn’t let up. Persisting for days, weeks, months on end in some shape or form. Spiky and rapid, long and dull. You never know what you’re gonna get. It makes you feel old and weathered. Miserable.
I must bore people, those closest to me especially with the ‘I’m just in a bit of pain at the mo’ line. Do they doubt me? Because it’s not hugely evident, do they think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill? Attention seeking? Truth be told, I have forgotten what a pain free day is like. Some days sure, are really not that bad. Fleeting stabs I can deal with, although they go on to raise emotional concerns. Maybe ears would prick up more if I said ‘I’m not in pain today!’
Endometriosis related pain can strike at any time, not just around menstruation. Some sufferers, myself included, get symptoms around ovulation. Given that endo is an inflammatory disease effecting not least the ovaries, the pain can be completely debilitating.
If I wasn’t trying for a baby I’d whack on a castor oil pack this evening, but I am. And you’re not supposed to do those after ovulation just in case. Or apply any heat for that matter.
Some may think it’s amazing that my body is telling me something or that I even ovulate at all. In ways yes, but why is this additional monthly pain getting worse and worse?
So seriously, I’m not alone in this right? Anyone else have these sort of pains? Hurts to pee too. And I pee a LOT.
Sorry to moan.
(Also, how good that I’m all ‘hey guys, i’m ovulating!’ TMI? Ah well.)