So it’s almost two weeks since I started to lose my first ever pregnancy. Clinging on to the bathroom sink, rocking back and forth before the ambulance arrived, my body cruelly experiencing contractions. Right now I should be almost 8 weeks pregnant, willing on the 12 week scan to breathe a brief sigh of relief to have made it to that milestone. But. I’m not…
I don’t know what to say this morning. I’m lost. Completely. So I’m just going to let it flow here from my bed as the dustmen clang around outside. I burst into tears when I least expect it. Actually ‘burst’ isn’t the right word. It’s more of an uncontrollable hot pressure behind my eyes that begins to release really slowly at first as I try…
You got me. I fibbed. Or rather, held back the truth, the whole truth. The sabbatical thing? It was all about trying to get pregnant via IVF. Well no. Not all about that. Say 90%. I wanted to make sure I was surrounded by comfort and freedom and daily options to promote happiness and calm into my world. To spend more time with the people…
I am 2 days away from doing one of the things that I love and that is talking about mixed martial arts and mixed martial artists with my good friend Dan Hardy. In fact, in order to hang with Dan as he talks effortlessly about the smallest details of the fight game, I must study. Again, something I love. However, even with my dream job…
Day 6 in hospital and I’m reflecting through very sore eyes, on all the messages I’ve received since my post about losing Little Bud. Life isn’t easy in a maternity block when in the middle of the night you hear little lamb like cries from the newborns being birthed just yards away. You take a moment to think ‘can I really hear that or am…
This time a week ago John and I had come home from our minibreak in Tunbridge Wells and were about to view houses in Epping. I was blissfully pregnant. Over the coming days I would start to cautiously look at baby things on Etsy. I’d Whatsapp John a picture of the woodland animal baby mobile I liked accompanied by the line ‘might be getting ahead…
Well this is rather nice isn’t it? Days with no schedules or commuter misery. Weekday mooches and allllllll the outdoorsyness and spontaneous dog walks. Yep, just what the doctor ordered. I’m in my element. It did get off to a slow start though if I’m honest. The first 2-3 weeks I was completely lost. I felt naughty and sort of couldn’t get going. Then once…
So i’m just over one week in to 3 months of unpaid leave from my day job. First of all; eeeeeeeeeeeek! How lucky am I to: have a husband that didn’t balk at the idea when I mooted it over New Years Eve work at a company that supports your personal needs and desires as well as their bottom line have 3 MONTHS to…
This year it’s finally clicked; Valentines is a load of rubbish. Ok let me explain because that sounds harsh and I’ve shocked myself a bit with this revelation. I love romance and the simplest form of it for me is time with my husband. Like intentional, top notch, focused, all in, quality time. Not sharing our time with phone notifications or zombie like in front…
Last week I was scrolling through Instagram and was actually floored to see on Lewis Howes feed that writer Hal Elrod has cancer. For those of you who don’t know Hal, I mean, I don’t know Hal, he wrote the book The Miracle Morning. The book covers Hal’s 6 steps (his life S.A.V.E.R.S) that he urges us to do every morning to set us up…
